This year will give me 34 years … Wouaw! I even have difficulty in realizing…
I feel so young and I always have the impression to have the whole life in front of me.
At 31, I decided to lead a new life, to drop everything and start from scratch.
My 30 years have been a big party, I’m not even ashamed to say that I do not remember very well my evening, luckily photos and the girls are there for the memories. And they did not give me any of my age (even today by the way) for my most great pleasure.
30 years…The thirties in general, as far as I am concerned, is for me the beautiful age, the age of maturity, accomplishment, affirmed and fulfilled sexuality, but also the age of questioning.
On the one hand, I was happy to reach this decade and on the other one, I felt some pressure despite myself. Because, yes, much younger, I imagined that at this period of my life, I’d be in couple, married or not, certainly with kids and maybe even owner.
I laugh just by writing these words. We have all plans, but God has his for us. ” When you make projects, God laughs ” a friend told me one day. Indeed, nothing passed as “planned” on that side. But frankly, in 30 years, I had the impression all the same to have already lived a whole life, between the movings, the stories of heart and sex stories, my professional life, the bad adventures, the excellent meet and the very bad, the parties, the journeys, and moments of madness.
So by making an assessment and taking a few steps back, I thought it was time for a change, I felt the need to take risks because I just realized that I was not as happy and fulfilled as I would like. Personal events, such as the rupture with my then boyfriend, but the explosion of the group of friends who were very close to me because of betrayals and others, have also opened my eyes. I opened my eyes, on my values, on what I really wanted for me, and especially, on what I shall not accept absolutely any more in my life, in any domain.
It will even have been easier for me in my decision to leave job, apartment, and everything that goes with it to make my homecoming, returning home (I was living in the Paris region).
It remains to this day one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. Without regret !
Do I think I missed my life or have missed something? No. I was lucky to always do what I wanted, I still had to make difficult choices, I sometimes had big moments of doubt and anxiety, periods of financial hassle etc, but I always overcome (thank you God, I felt really well supported).
So I do not feel I missed my life, because as I said earlier, it still long before me (at least I hope). Today, I am exactly where I need to be. I know what I want and I know what I am worth. I clearly become more direct, more expeditious, less patient (with others), more self-confident, more determined in my choice.
Basically, I became MORE myself!
Kisses to the thirties!